Colton Backer







we look better in the moonlight
our flaws hide out of sight
wearing battered blue jeans
Behind the glow of led screens

were the dark side of the amerikan dream
thats bursting at the seams

generation x with a dose of sex
bored less it comes with a tech
sly sneer asks whats the point
bleeding eyes hind a smokin joint

if jesus came down to preach
cap his ass along with the teach
thats the expectation thats set
bout as stable as an afghan vet


got up out a bed without a care
got undressed so that i was bare
i dont care i dont care
went downstairs to grab a cup
had to make sure i was up
i dont care i dont care

i live my life on autopilot
dont try to fight it
dont try to deny it

walked down stairs to get me some lunch
turned out I was late so I got me some brunch
i dont care i dont care
went outside to open up the door
standing in the rain there was a whore
i dont care i dont care

hey you were all the same
yeah you were all the same
were all the same were all the same
were all the same were all the same

hey you hey you
hey you i got something to say
hey you feel my pain
hey you we got something to say
hey you feel our pain



nine to five in a shopping mall
laundry baskets and adderall
pack a bowl blowout the stress
forget the fact my life’s a mess

tick tock tick tock and on and on
so till the dawn ill sing this

wash away my sanity in the rivera
and i sold my soul to a different era
i burnt my bonds and now i see
all i want to be is dead and free

im dead and free
so dead and free

the concretes an old and tired bed
which the drums can rest their head
if zed is dead and the gimp is cold
im so bored now that life is old



first there were the poets
then there were the freaks
perfection isn't found
in a flawless psyche

we can't achieve
what we’re told to be
we find an escape
tween the bars and me

the last king of grunge is dead
what is left that we haven't said
the fall of pills brings back black tar
a dying junkie stares at the stars

medias a record
that plays on repeat
he said she said
we bought front row seats

only sideways idols
all vain and weak
nothing to inspire
nothin that’ll start a fire

the first king of grunge is dead
who will say what is left unsaid


can you supply the witty repartee
to lead away from dreary days
a subtle eye respect your curves
courtly ways that you deserve

wanna know what drives me insane
miniskirt and a big ol brain
wanna know what gets stuck in my head
last witty thing that you said

cant stand a stilted tongue
my attention recedes rung by rung
but your lips and lines oh my my
bring me up three at a time

do you have it on the inside
cause i see it on the outside
do you have it on the inside
if so i wanna be inside

do you have the brains to keep me terrified
do you have the looks to keep me occupied
fuck your pedestal i want a conversation
afterwards ill appease our frusturrations


im tired of being alone
my soul is a lonely home
where i live all by myself
just waiting for someone else

i was born with half a heart
now im looking for the other part
i was born with half a heart
find the parts so it can fall apart

locked in a cell of my own design
want someone to read the signs
i know exactly what i can feel
the question is can you make it real

fell in love with a girl on screen
did so right about sixteen
reality never meets your dreams
im an actor in an empty scene


i don’t wanna say bye bye
life sucks but itd be worse to die
all my idols long dead and gone
nothing left but a sad old song

aint gonna lie i got no reason to die
came into this world a ffinger to the sky

being a depressives a bit oppressive
tried the meds but i lost my message
numb to everything that aint excessive
its the blessing that proceeds the wreckage
sometimes wish that i was tragic
something in my life was magic
had real pain a bluesy voice
throw up the bird like its my only choice


half raised small old town
get back get back
pot found cops around
get back get back
found you that time of night
get back get back
in a space out of the light
get back get back

you and i weve been around
every corner of this little town
loves not just waiting to be found
we both wanna get out of here
and find the other half of our broken mirror

were both afraid of getting old
get back get back
wanna grow up not grow cold
get back get back
break up like we met
get back get back
bitter smiles, better bets
get back get back


was a girl she liked to dance
especially without her pants
took em off at every chance
oh well she was from France

if sex is a sin
tell the devil im in
if sex is a crime
think im doing the time

was a preacher a simple sort
never had to use a last resort
he went down on bended knee
talking to the girl from new orleans

she saw a man a fragile guy
a gentleman a suit and tie
she asked him to dance deep inside
oh he was in for quite a surprise

if sex is a crime
be locked away from a long long time


sitting on the corner
like an old cig stub
smell like rock and roll
but i look like a bum
lighter burns on my fingers
glass pipe by my side
start to feel the need
time to find a fiend

this is what happens
when your all alone
this is what happens
when the dog lost a bone
this is what happens
when the black snake moans
this is what happens
on the way to the throne

stole my daddies guitar
broke my mamas heart
old cars and old guitars
all i need to reach the stars
but i drown my muse
with every shot of the juice
don’t really know what im doing
except this girl that im screwing

high and happy or sober and sad
too much of either might drive me mad
sitting in the corner with a bottle and a record
thinking bout how i should have kept her

sitting on the corner
like an old cig stub
dont know how i got here
but I know how ill leave







Between the Desert and Her Thighs

dear ariel&colton

with every cigarette i think of you
the shapes of smoke our conversations
staining the air before fading like they came
those sacred moments that shimmered in the heat
before my zeitgeist warped the symmetry
he loved you as much as he knew how
and myself well even less
this is from me to you and him
sacred notes played out of sight
in remembrance of your flesh and life



oh darling of the desert
in which my god was born
with all your little fantasies
all dancing toe to toe
out your mouth into my ear
roll gently all the things you fear
stuttered phrase and simple thoughts
a melody i used to plot

i know enough to see
that anything id ever be
would simply lead me back
to my floor and knees

there are poems in the
the scriptures of your curves
they twist and tie into an eight
to symbolize my first estate

and now the rhythms shifted
cause the drummer tripped
i dread the submission
that the comedown brings

r0t me

the smoke, floats gently
choking me, so sweetly
makes the pink, all turn black
degrading into, hacks and phlegm

yeah it’ll rot me
but i like it, i like it
clogging up my insides
but i like it, i like it

death in peace, is close to you
so ill smolder out in calm
the fog and smoke, two twin ghosts
wonder which one makes me float

yeah it’ll rot me
but i like it, i like it
clogging up my insides
but i like it, i like it
yeah it’ll rot me
but i like it, i like it
yeah its choking me
but i like it, i like it

let me blow away my stress
let me take a rest
let me stare into the west
and rot with all the rest
let the steam of coffee grounds
mix inside the smoke
and float away tomorrows hopes
until I find away to cope


sing to her but do not speak
whisper words to make me weak
bring her up and break her down
in a circle round and round
down you went in dirt and rust
intermingled in her lust
cigarette burns upon her bust
juxtaposed, a simple trust

i will not die
inside your heart
engaged by guilts
and moral plots
to you i say
maybe farewell
and off your world
i gently fell

you said to me like something weak
do not lie to me and speak
turned around and raised my hand
hit the snare and start the band
one and two and three and four
played four days about a whore
richoeting through my thoughts
that girl that did seduce your haunts


chew tops and shotgun shells
where were you when winter fell
dime for yours, bullshit for mine
only i can clock out time
chased myself into the desert
took my darling from my measure
found some bones buried in sand
and with them made myself a band

buried who i was inside a because
now im digging towards the moans
hid my face and in a childs place
tried to build a mask that lasts

tween the desert and her thighs
found a road map of my lies
the journey inwards onwards outwards
let the moral compass wander

searching in the sand
found a casket made of glass
and inside was a little boy
naked chewing on the past
looked at me and said
inside me is who you used to be
grabbed his tongue and pulled
until he bled out on his knees


the sun is low
my sweat is slow
my muse is gone
my gaze is long
my lord of butterflies
beckons me along
to the temple
of stone and me

oh desert days
well they creep along
yeah they creep along

as the water
starts to fade
i see the devil children
locked inside an instance



met you in a theater
in the middle of a desert high
well you scared me senseless
yeah you and your heroin eyes
the way you pinned me under
a blanket and your feathered thighs
so there began the story
of a child in a static life

i dont want you to leave me
im in love with your life
so ill bind you to me
with amber butterflies and lies

so i told you a story
to cover up the kid inside
somewhere in the rhyming
lost who i was inside
hairless cat well she called me out
shot her down with limber tongue
one by one and rung by rung
hid myself from the ones who love

so now you fell into heels
for the man in the poem
and thats just it doll
it was only a poem

i am who i am now
and you are who you were
and the desert between us
sure makes me not so sure
our last conversation
ended in ever
and that was the end
of the storyteller


i really cant remember
the hidden scriptures of your curves
and the whispers that i used
to coax your pedals into bloom
the way the things that carried you
shivered down my spine
are slowly getting murkier
inside this plight of mine

yeah its hard to pull the host
out of what he loves the most

i lap my will to move
from the juices near your center
and when that doesnt flow
is when i wont endeavor
the affirmations of my monologues
that slip up inside you soul
well the arching of your spine
tells me all i need to know

i hate that your a goddess
so i trapped you into flesh
and now i have some time
to build myself above the rest


left you on a mountain
with nothing but my name
and kissed on all your writings
deep into my game
loved to watch your tears
drip drip on window panes
that i put there gently
to keep myself at bay

yeah we were ours to keep
and you i tried to tame
but who was i to lame
a priestess for my gain

visited your temple
to further permeate your flesh
and met with all your maidens
to understand how you were bred

in and outs and smoke spots
is where my bride should be
thats what i found out
in my time with thy
knew that i would dissipate
but now i know your make
so ill find another
to drive myself insane

hey doll; dreamwell

you stared off into santeria
and took off all your clothes
while the gentle waves of bass
went throbbing through our bones
turned around and through a smile
asked if it had hit
so i mumbled out an answer
through the cancer tween my lips

hey doll, dreamwell
lets keeps our secrets to ourselves
hey doll, dream well
what we had ill treasure well

the way we first collided
was tripping in our eyes
that stoner paranoia
that we climbed to intertwine
felt quite like a joke
when my column didnt stand
but you still begged for a firmer hand
and a moan turned to a gasp

i pilgrimed to your haunts
and met your crystal girl
asked me how i liked her
i thought a little bit too much
underneath the bridge
your face began to morph
and that atmosphere of youth
made me know what i pursued

hey doll, dream well
what we had ill treasure still


you fell out of an interlude
had my heart and ate it too
ive had my romp and now im through
time to chase another blue

beat the dead horse that is you
till it is all black and blue
beat the dead horse that is you
and all the things i put it through

so does it really matter
what ive done and what youll do
cause all my wounds are licked
and your the first monkey in my zoo

i mechanized your sliver corpse
And pulled it out of the tub
pursued it to the crown
to stop what i begun


i want to sit with you
in that spot we used to float
and watch the wasteland
fade away just one more time
then i'll lead you to my pretty picture
and your cries will echo backwards
as it rots and disappears
Along with the fool you knew

ill violate you on the tombs
ill penetrate you in the rust
so the only thing thats left
are the slivers of our trust

i wed you to a cowboy
but his gun was full of blanks
and his ranch was an oasis
buried in my flesh

mirages and my dull blue eyes
to trip away your fears
then i wove you to a coffin
screamed dont look in here
still the only thought thats left to me
is the dream of us anew
but the lies i spun were sticky
and to ingrained to leave

bruised skin the blood the rims
young expressions less than lessoned
jaded strength to pin your limbs
and choke you into something new
the only way to know me better
is to remember im a sicko
my open mouth clogs simple love
remember doll just try and grow up


in a cloudy haze on top
i bound a doll in silver tongue
but another was my equal
my equal with the pen
ripped in lust pulled from my chest
a dark night trip that ends in rust
a desert day to kill the host
and there was born an empty ghost
so i left my mind in california
with a stoner and a cat
and now that i have found my heart
im slowly heading back
i want to serenade the world
through a haze of smoke and fog
light another cigarette
and head on down the coast

jesus christ lizard where is my mind
i lost it and i found it swimming in your eyes

but ive found another darling
brown eyes instead of blue
a softer place to start anew
and mend from all your boons
well dolls i thoughts that you were deadly
but now i choke the truth
i’m above all of your earthly measures
anothers favorite treasure

jesus christ lizard, where is my mind
i lost it and i found it swimming in your eyes
bring it back to me bring it back to life
give me back my doll, for this jaded friday night

i want it back
i want it now
its mine to keep
now its time to reap
i raised you both
together as a pair
suckled on my rhythmic lies
directed by a fiction
but now you know the truth
i guess its mine to bear
now you know the truth
i guess its mine to bear